Beautiful Sadness
by haileyyxo
Summary: One shot about Ethan comforting Lena after Macon's "death". May be OOC, but, oh well. Please read, review, and enjoy!


**This takes place between Beautiful Creatures and Beautiful Darkness.**

**I started Beautiful Creatures a week or two ago, and I'm completely hooked, I'm currently reading Beautiful Chaos and LOVIN' IT! :D**

**So, as I am in LOVE with Ethan and Lena, (Cutest book couple ever!) I couldn't but help write something for the archive.**

**So, here we go.**

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><p><strong>Ethan's Point of View<strong>

It rained in Gatlin. It rained in Gatlin everyday since Macon died. Lena's mood wasn't letting up and neither was the rain.

The rain was a way of showing me-and the rest of Gatlin- Lena's actual feelings. It was obvious she was upset, but sometimes she'd put on a brave face and try to do something, anything. It didn't work though. Not on me. She stayed home and sat in Ravenwood Manor, looking through his items and trying to forgive herself for something that wasn't even her fault.

So now, Friday before the funeral, I'm sitting in my living hell. It was bad enough with Lena, as in Savannah never leaving us alone, but now it was worse. No one to sit next to in Mrs. English's class, no one to hold hands with or steal a quick kiss in the hallway. Now I was alone under the roof, hearing the depressing pattering of the rain. Which, in Lena's case: Tears.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I pulled in the driveway in my mom's old Volvo. Lena hadn't been Kelting with me at all today and I was getting worried.

-_Lena, are you there? Answer me, L. Please._

No answer.

I sighed and turned off the engine and made my way towards the front door. The trees were dying, and the rain came down. The grass was long and full of weeds. It was depressing to look at. Since Macon died, Ravenwood Manner started reflecting Lena's feelings. But now, I was worried why she wasn't answering me. Something had to be wrong. Even on her worst days, she still answered me, even if it was '_Go away, Ethan'_.

I knocked on the front door and got no response… Of course. What annoyed me was that no one cared to stay with Lena for long. Apparently that fake act of pulling through and being brave had worked on them. They were coming to visit in a week or two, and coming home to this…well…that wouldn't be good.

I took out the house key she had given me a while ago and unlocked the door. It was worse than I'd expected.

Boxes of-well, I don't know, exactly- were everywhere. There were no lights on, cobwebs in the corners… And when I entered, the normally changing entryway was as plain as a prison cell. I winced as if I had been slapped and walked up the old, squeaking staircase.

Lena's room had always been "different" if you could call it that. She wrote poetry on her walls in black sharpie and didn't care to decorate. I could clearly picture her curled up in a ball, under a blanket on her futon.

I walked down the hallway and found Boo Radley in front of her door, whining.

"Hey, Boo," I said quietly, afraid of Lena hearing me. "How's she holding up?"

He dug his nose deeper into his paws, a clear sign of not good.

Great.

"Come on, buddy. Let me inside."

He hesitated, as if he didn't trust me -total offense- but got up and walked downstairs.

I grabbed the cold door handle and turned it slowly. Surprisingly, it was unlocked. I truly hadn't expected this, but hey, it's the Order of Things.

I walked into her room and found her, like I guessed, curled up in a ball crying.

You know how when you see a sad movie, and your heart seems to grow and feels all fuzzy? And you can feel your facial expression soften and tears spring to your eyes? That's how I felt seeing her like this. It physically pained me to see Lena hurting this much. I don't remember much from that night, or how I got this weird scar, but I know it wasn't her fault and I just wanted to know why she thought it was.

"Lena..?" I barely whispered, my throat tightening.

"W-what do you w-want, Ethan?' Her voice was wobbly and delicate.

-_Are you okay, L?_

_-No, Ethan! It's my entire fault! How could I possibly be okay? I killed him!_

Her sobs became more violent; the rain came down even harder. A hurricane could easily start soon if I couldn't help her.

I fast-walked over to her bed and practically threw my arms around her. I pulled her head into my chest, feeling her warm, salty tears soak through my shirt. But I didn't care.

"Shh, L. I'm here, I'm here…" I repeated my little chant as I rubbed her back, or ran my fingers through her hair. "It'll be okay."

"I-It won't, E-Ethan! H-How could I ever d-do this..? I-I just- I just can't t-take it!"

I'm not sure why, but tears came to my eyes. "I know, L. I know…" My voice wasn't as strong as it should've been. She noticed.

She pulled back. "Why are you crying?"

I looked into her eyes, one green one gold. "I hate seeing you like this."

She sighed and wiped her eyes, her face red and puffy. "I know, Ethan. I hate being like this but, I-it was all my fault-"

"No it wasn't, Lena!" I was suddenly angry, and this just hurt her more.

"How would you know? You were unconscious and almost-!'

She stopped, and looked at her hands. "I almost what, L…?" I asked in a softer voice.

"N-nothing. You just don't understand." She stood up and paced in her room, her arms folded across her chest.

"Help me understand then. I want to make you feel better, L. I miss you. You- you're distant, and not coming to school… We miss you."

She snorted. "Who else besides you would miss me? I'm Raven- _Was,_" she swallowed hard. "Ravenwood's niece, the freaky witch. No one talks to me, only you and my family. But now they're gone."

"No, Lena. You're _so _much more than that. More than you could ever imagine. You mean the world to me, yes. But think about Link, Ridley, you're cousins, aunts and uncles. They all care about you."

She shook her head. "Enough to leave?"

"Well, you kind of come off as okay to them. But Lena, you're not fooling me. I know you're upset. I know you miss him, I understand. You don't think I was that way when my mother died? I missed _so _many things you get to do with your mom growing up. My dad, he shut himself up in his room, writing his book. Never coming out, only for showers and meals. Amma, you and Link are the only people I have. I know how it feels! But am I being like my dad? No! I _had _to move on no matter how much I miss her, Lena!"

I was breathing heavy, more tears coming, but relieved to get that off my chest. Lena stood there, pale, just staring at me. Obviously hurt.

"Look, L-"

"NO! Ethan, I'm hurting, okay? It's great you moved on, but I can't! I need him! He was the only one who understood me. The only one who can help me! We can't be together unless I claim myself. If I do, half of my family will die, no matter what I choose. I don't know what to do! I'm so stressed, and confused and-" She stopped, her eyes pooling with tears again.

I wanted to go over there and hug her, comfort her in some way, but her words really hurt.

"I don't understand you, L…? I can't help?" My words were a whisper. " I've been trying to help you! I thought I understood you more than anyone else!"

Tears were flowing down her face; I even felt some down mine. The rain was worse than it had been in days.

-_Ethan, I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry; I know you're trying to help, and I couldn't love you more for doing that._

I sighed, I shouldn't be yelling at her. She of all people needs more guilt. I walked over to her and took her face in my hands, pushing her black, tangled hair out of her face.

"I love you so much, L. I'm sorry for yelling at you, I'm just…frustrated. I just don't know how to make you feel better."

Without waiting for a response, I leaned down and kissed her on the lips, tasting her salty tears; my hands running through her hair, along her back and her waist; barely coming up for air. She draped her arms around my neck and laced her fingers together behind my head. I groaned from the back of my throat and Lena smiled into the kiss.

She pulled back sooner than I would've liked, but I was already feeling lightheaded.

"Come on, how about you come over my house?" I laced my fingers through hers.

She bit her lower lip. "I don't know," I frowned. "I'm not ready to talk to anyone else. They always ask questions and won't leave me alone."

"It's only Amma, and, how about you just stay in my room. We can read some Robert Frost, talk… Whatever you want."

She bit her lower lip. "Fine…," I smiled to myself. "But only for a little bit, Ethan. I'm really tired."

"Alright, just a little while, I promise."

She nodded. "Let me change and wash up. I-I'll meet you down in a couple of minutes."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When Lena came down, she looked better. A million times better. She washed her face, changed her clothes, and put her hair in a ponytail, so her eyes shone brighter than ever.

She seemed to remember the whole point of me coming here, and what happened before I kissed her, because her face was down more than it was ten minutes ago. I was feeling guilty about inviting her over.

"You okay?"

She nodded. "Mhmm."

"Positive?" I leaned my forehead against hers, looking into her eyes.

"Positive."

"Okay," I said pulling back. "Want an umbrella?"

She nodded. "I had imagined that I needed one."

"Yeah, but, you never know."

She smiled a little bit and shook her head. "Come on, I'm falling asleep standing up."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It was on the way to my house when Lena started crying.

"Lena!" I said, glancing at her, which, in this rain, wasn't smart. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "I-I can't do this Ethan."

"Can't do what, Lena?"

"I'm not ready to leave yet. T-take me home."

"No," I said harshly. "You're not going to be like my dad. I won't let it happen."

"Ethan-"

"No, Lena. Do you want to end up like my dad? You don't, Lena please, don't make me yell at you. I'm doing this for you."

Lena buried her face in her hands and wept the whole way there.

Why do I keep yelling at her? I feel awful about it, but she can't end up like my dad, no, it won't happen.

Even if it means yelling at her.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When we got to my house, Amma was in the kitchen cooking.

"Ethan Wate, get upstairs an' do your homework!"

"Yes, ma'am."

Lena and I quietly walked up the stairs and into my room, which, was messier than I had thought. Lena walked over sat on my bad and wrapped herself in the blanket she had brought.

I sat down next to her and wrapped my arms around her, not wanting to ever let go.

"Lena, look, I'm _really _sorry about yelling at you. I just don't want you to go through this and end up like my dad. Just please…tell me what's wrong." I whispered in her ear, rocking her back and forth slowly, like your mom does when you come crying to her after a nightmare.

"I just miss him Ethan," her voice getting higher by the word. "I feel empty, you know…? He was everything to me and now he's gone."

I waited for the tears, but they didn't come. I looked over to her, and saw that she was falling asleep. I kissed her cheek and lay down on my bed, bringing the comforters over us. Her head leaning on my chest; her soft breathing and the smell of lemons and rosemary made me smile.

"I love you, Lena Duchannes, more than anything else."

I didn't expect a reply, but I got one; one that I'll always remember.

-_I love you too, Ethan Wate, with all my heart._

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><p><strong>Short, and to the point. Sorry if there is any OOC-ness, that's the way I write :) Please review! <strong>


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